The Aftermath
by EllyWrites
Summary: Prim is dead. Panem is destroyed. Katniss is classed as 'mentally unstable.' But with the help of Haymitch and her book, and most importantly, Peeta, will she be able to become the strong hunter she used to be? And will Peeta ever fully be the boy she used to love? *Basically what I think happened after Katniss returns to District 12/after the last couple of pages of Mockingjay.


**A/N- I started this after re-reading the trilogy and entered what I call my 'Hunger Games trance' where it's all I can think about. If I carry on with this story, it's going to be based around the end of Mockingjay, so maybe re-read the last couple of pages before the epilogue. I'm planning on just writing what happens, mainly with Katniss and Peeta, after the end of Mockingjay. Enjoy :)  
**

It's a kind of unspoken agreement that we have to do this everyday. I lie in bed until I hear Greasy Sae come in downstairs, sometimes with her granddaughter, sometimes with out. She's mostly with her though, as her mother was lost in the blazes, so she lives with her grandmother now. Then I get out of bed. If it's one of my particularly bad days, Greasy Sae comes upstairs, pulls open my curtains and coaxes my out from under my sea of blankets. This doesn't happen that often anymore though, as I use a technique Dr Aurelius taught me; taking things in steps. For example, step 1 – Sit up. Step 2- Get out of bed. Step 3- Inwardly congratulate myself for getting to step 2. Step 4- Walk to the bathroom. Step 5 - Brush my teeth. And then I continue this until I get downstairs, most of the time still in my nightclothes, as there are too many steps involved with getting dressed. By this time, Peeta has arrived usually bearing bread. The four of us eat together and they talk a little. They leave in the afternoon and I sit by the fire in the rocking chair in my trance like state until something breaks me from it. Usually Buttercup winding around my legs, reminding me that I should go to bed, which I do. Some nights, sleep comes easy. Most nights it doesn't. Every night I'm visited by my recurring nightmare of all the people I killed burying me, filling in my grave.

This set up carries on for a couple of weeks without much change, except for on the occasional day I go hunting. Most days I get as far as hunting step 4 – put on my fathers hunting jacket, before I decide to stay at home with it wrapped around me rather than venturing outside and seeing my destroyed district – the destruction that I caused. Also I don't want to end up being brought back home on Thom's cart for dead people like I was the last time I went hunting. One day however, things are a little different. I get up as usual, but when I arrive downstairs the smell of fresh bread that I am usually greeted with is slightly different. I look at Peeta, confused, when he offers me a plate bearing a roll with cheese baked into the crust. I feel tears stinging my eyes as I sit across from him at the table.  
'You remembered?' I ask.  
'Well I remembered that they were your favourite a while ago. It just took me a while to remember exactly how you liked them.' He replied smiling slightly. I smile in return. The first time I've smiled since Prim… But then the tears overflow and my face falls into my hands.  
'What's the matter?' Peeta asks, concerned. His hand gently pulls mine away from my face as I reply.  
'It's like you're back. _You. _Only _my_ Peeta would put so much effort into trying to make bread the specific way I like it.' I laugh slightly.  
'Well, I'm trying to come back. I _feel _like I'm back already.'

The day's carry on and I get better. I get dressed almost every day now. I even smile more and join in Peeta and Greasy Sae's conversations. I speak to my mother on the phone every few days. Sometimes crying, sometimes reminiscing, but mostly just talking about how thing are going in both of our districts. I don't know very much about 12, so perhaps this is why I say yes to Peeta's suggestion of going into town. It had been about 2 weeks since I cried at the breakfast table about him coming back to me. We were sat in the kitchen and Greasy Sae was about to leave. She stood in the doorway waiting for Peeta, but instead of joining her, he said  
'Katniss. Why don't we go for a walk today?' At first I was a little taken aback about breaking out of this routine we had settled into, but I had to admit it was getting slightly tedious now that I was coming back to myself. I think it's because I had been so used to being told what to do everyday as the Mockingjay or on tour or in the games. Before that everyday was taken up by hunting to keep my family alive and everyday after I was too consumed with grief to find things to do.  
So I nod at Peeta and go upstairs to my bedroom to dress, as today had been one of those days where I just didn't want to. I open my closet to the array of simple dresses that Greasy Sae had filled it with. Some had belonged to her daughter, others she had stitched recently. They were dresses at my request, because as much as I have never been your typical teenage girl, dresses are easy. They only require 4 steps; 1- Open the closet. 2- Take a dress out. 3- Pull it over my head. 4- Put on my shoes. Where as other outfits forced me to find maybe 3 different pieces and sometimes I couldn't find one half. Say I had no clean shirts but I had already done half my steps and got into my pants. Then I would've wasted my time and effort and all it takes these days are little things like this to push me over the edge and make me curl up on the floor in my trousers and bra and cry for half an hour. I've never particularly cared what I look like, so I chose the practical option and decided I just wanted simple things that I could slip on quickly and be done with. Of course I don't wear dresses when I hunt. That would be a very impractical option. And as little as I care for clothes, I'd feel like I was disgracing my father's hunting jacket by wearing something so slight and girly underneath it.  
I pull out a dark green short-sleeved cotton thing and pull it over my head before heading downstairs where Peeta is waiting at the front door.  
'Ready?' He asks, holding out his arm.  
'I am.' I smile as I take it. I turn to thank Greasy Sae for breakfast and see tears starting to from in her eyes. Whether it's at seeing me leave the house, or joke around slightly by taking Peeta's arm, or just at having physical contact with him, I don't know. But I don't ask as she wipes her eyes quickly in an effort to hide her tears. She exits the house behind us, her granddaughter in tow, who we hear ask 'So are they in love again now?' as they take off in the other direction towards their home. Neither of us mentions her question (though we let go of each other's arms) as we slowly follow the path from the Victor's village into town. Most of the ash has gone, as have all the bodies. Everywhere people are building or cleaning or planting or helping in someway. I recognise many faces, but there are an equal number I don't. Suddenly, I feel disgusted at myself.  
'Why aren't we helping?' I exclaim. I've been sitting in a stupor for the past few weeks, barely moving, while the district I destroyed is being rebuilt.  
'Maybe we could ask?' Peeta suggests. I don't know who he intends to ask, as I'm totally unaware of how the system has been operating, but I nod at him hoping he has more knowledge than I do.

It seems he knows a little as I do though, so we head back to the Victor's village (which houses similar to mine but smaller are being constructed around) to find Greasy Sae who was assigned one of the houses close to mine (I assume under Dr Aurelius's orders so that she can keep an eye on me as she has been doing.) We knock on her door, and when we ask about the rebuild, I realise I should've known what she was going to say before she said it.  
'Dr Aurelius said it might be too stressful for you both. Seeing the damage as well as all the extra physical work that you haven't been used to lately.' Upon hearing this I look down at my arm, linked with Peeta's. I had reattached myself to him on the walk back because I was getting too tired. I guess what she was saying made sense; I'd been lay in a hospital bed having burn wounds treated then locked in my old training centre room for God knows how many weeks trying to kill myself, and since I returned I hadn't exactly moved any more than necessary. But still, I should be helping. So later that afternoon, I rang Dr Aurelius. After a short argument he agreed that for one day a week, I could help with the rebuild, as long as I was only doing small things like making drinks or treating the workers' minor wounds or making their lunches. I quickly realised that this meant I'd have a reason to start hunting again which excited me, as I've never hunted unless I had to. That, however, doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. I'm just not the type to hunt for sport. Now I could get the meat and Peeta could make meals for the workers. So Peeta and I are assigned to the town square on Thursdays from 1 until 5. Each individual is assigned to a specific building and works on it 6 or 7 days a week, but as we won't actually be doing much building (yet) we are just assigned a general area.

Saturday soon rolls around and for the first time in a long time, I get up before Greasy Sae arrives. I dress in my trousers, shirt and my father's hunting jacket without even having to count the steps. I'm about to take off when I go into the kitchen and leave a note letting Sae know I'm safe. I don't want her thinking I've gone crazy and disappeared in the middle of the night. I'm not up to my old standard, but I still make several clean kills. I head back earlier than I wanted to, as fatigue was already beginning to take over me, and upon shooting a squirrel I could almost hear Prim's little voice asking if it was too late to take it home and save it. I stumble into the house leaving my game back by the front door and realise Greasy Sae and Peeta still haven't arrived, so I go back to bed.

I was woken again when they arrived. We cooked and walked and cleaned small cuts and listened to many choruses of 'It's good to see you up and about' and 'I'm sorry for your loss.' Even some 'I'm sorry about the baby' which I responded to with a simple 'thank you' after looking at Peeta and silently agreeing that we shouldn't say anything about the reality of the miscarriage situation. When I arrived home I was exhausted, and slept quite easily. The same can't be said for the next night though. I woke up at around 1am screaming, my sheets drenched in sweat. I couldn't even remember what I had dreamt about but I was so shaken up. I got out of bed and paced a little, trying to remember techniques Dr Aurelius had taught me to cope but my mind had gone blank and I didn't know what to do. I grabbed the book Peeta, Haymitch and I had been working on from my dresser and flicked through the pages, but the sketches and photos of the dead people seemed to make me shake more so I carefully returned it to the spot on my dresser before wrapping my arms around myself and sobbing silently. I then realised my arms would never be the same comfort as _his_ had always been. I walk over to my window and sit on the ledge, looking down the curve of the street to the window behind which I know Peeta is. Of course, I had thought many times (every night) about how much easier I would sleep with Peeta's presence beside me. His arms around me. But it wasn't until recently that I'd begun to believe it could happen again. We'd been spending more and more time together and we'd been voluntarily touching; whether it was him holding my arm to walk or carrying me to bed when I'm crying to much to get there, or me holding his hand as he writes about his father in our book.

As I stare out of my window to his, I see a light flick on and the shadow of movement behind the curtain. He's awake. With out even thinking I throw on my slippers and run out into the street still in my pyjamas, to his front door, which he leaves unlocked at Haymitch's request, in case he has what they refer to as 'an episode.' I'm upstairs and standing in his bedroom doorway before I know it. He's sitting on his bed, his quilt has been thrown on the floor and his head is in his hands.  
'Peeta?' I say cautiously, stepping away slightly. I know that Dr Aurelius wouldn't have sent him home unless he was completely safe, but there was still a seed of doubt in my mind, and when he looks up with dilated pupils, I'm convinced he could easily kill me.  
'No, Katniss. Don't. Just go home' He breathes out looking down at his feet. Against my better judgement, I ignore him and step forwards.  
'No.' I came here seeking comfort, but I've found he needs exactly the same. He wouldn't leave me if we were in reversed positions.  
'I don't want to hurt you' He says, still not looking at me. I slowly move closer still.  
'You won't.' He looks up at me, tears forming in his eyes as he reaches his hand towards my own.  
'I know, but I'm just scared. What if I do? I couldn't live with myself' He holds on to my hand as I sit by him on his bed stroking his thumb with my own.  
'You won't' I repeat. He calms significantly and lies down, still clutching my hand. I lean down to retrieve his quilt and drape it over him the best I can with only one hand available.  
'Don't go' He says, as though he's worried that if I left this room now he'd never see me again.  
'I don't want to' I smile at him slightly. He breathes calmly, as though I'd just completely righted his world. I resist the urge to climb in beside him as he falls back to sleep, just in case he doesn't want me to. Yet I stay, perched on the edge of his bed, my hand in his. It had been about 20 minutes when I hear him murmur something.  
'Stay with me' it's so quiet, I thought I may not even have heard it at first, but I know I did. A light chuckle escapes my lips before I reply  
'Always' just as he has to me, twice before.

I spin around as the light entering the room from the doorway is blocked by someone's shadow. It's just Haymitch.  
'Didn't expect to find you here, sweetheart' he drunkenly mumbles. A glance at the clock tells me I've been here for almost 2 hours.  
'Well I didn't expect to see you here at this time either' I counter. He stumbles towards me, looking at Peeta's hand intertwined with mine.  
'Just checking the boy. I don't sleep as you very well know' he says almost accusatory. No, I very well know that he sleeps during the day, but not at reasonable times. 'Why don't you go now.' It's more of an order than a suggestion.  
'It's fine. I want to stay with him' I reply. He rolls his eyes and pulls me up from the bed.  
'I'm sure he'll understand that you need your sleep' he says, pulling me towards the door with him. I look back at Peeta's face one more time, taking in what I never used to truly appreciate, wanting more than anything to be lay there sleeping peacefully with him. But for whatever reason, I allow Haymitch to lead me home and deposit me on the couch, where I fall into a surprisingly dreamless sleep.

**A/N- So… What do you think? Should I carry on? If I do there will be a lot more Everlark. Maybe leave me a review? It will make you extra special ;) **


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